Just Call Me Gandalf

Okay, due to a recent blog about celebrity look-aliking, I went to this suggested website to do a "celebrity scan," which I've always poo-poo'ed as silly and somewhat narcissistic in the past, but which today seemed to be a far superior activity than writing my paper.

I uploaded a picture of myself:

...Expecting to get something along the lines of Kate Hudson, Drew Barrymore, and/or Gretchen Mol, who are the celebrities people have compared me to in the past.

Instead, I got nothing. I got REJECTED by the celebrity scan, which snippily informed me that no person in the world bore any similarities to that picture. What?? Lame.

I tried again. The first picture I'd chosen because it's a good picture, but it still looks like ME, like it's a very Greta-ish smile. After celebrity scan's rejection though, I had to up the ante. I uploaded a picture that's really good, but in all honesty makes me probably look more glamorous than I actually am, because my eyes are NEVER this light and dilated, and my hair is NEVER so effortlessly wind-swept. But, whine, I needed Celebrity Scan's validation:

THIS picture brought up results, starting with Jessica Biel and Katherine Heigl. What? Um, AWESOME! But where was Drew Barrymore? People mention her more than anyone else with me. I decided to try one more, and started looking through my I-Photo for a picture that wasn't QUITE as beaming-good as the last one, and that had more of a straight normal-Greta face. I didn't find that picture, but I found this one:

Haha! This picture is from a wedding, when I pulled out my tub of Vaseline--er, sorry, apparently I'm actually saving pennies by using the GENERIC "Petroleum Jelly" brand-- because I use it instead of chapstick when my lips get dry. I was actually intending to save this picture for a blog about how much I love Petroleum Jelly for its lip moisturizing purposes, and how if I was famous, I would freely endorse Petroleum Jelly just because I believe in it so much, and in the blog there was going to be a funny anecdote about how Petroleum Jelly once got me free food and drinks in a bar, but really-- who wants to read a blog about Petroleum Jelly?? And I can't save the picture for the P.J. blog, because I have to show the picture for this blog, because that is the picture from which Celebrity Scan announced that I LOOK LIKE THE FOLLOWING:

Sinead O'Conner. (And yes, they gave me the bald picture):


Jude Law:

What?? I look like a MAN?? Well... at least he's a good-looking man...

Oh but it didn't stop there: Just as I had finished telling myself that Jude Law has somewhat effeminate features after all, Celebrity Scan compared me to IAN MACKELLAN:

Ian MACKELLAN. A 70-something-year-old MAN, known for playing WIZARDS. What?? My silly Petroleum Jelly picture equals Ian Mackellan?!!

I have no way to make myself feel better about this. I can go find a staff and shake it at cave trolls all I want. It still will not make me feel better about being compared to THIS:


Stupid celebrity scan. I'm pretty sure I'm going to throw you into the bowels of Mordor.