The ONLY one: other trips into the Land of Grace

Previous blogs in this series:
1-- Pits, Towers, Fields and Dancing
2-- ... Thoughts on Sheep
3-- Getting out of the Towers
4-- The Shadowlands
5-- The Land of Grace: Casting Shadows
6-- When the Tower Crumbles: Getting to the Land of Grace
7-- A Disclaimer
8-- Holy Scripture, Batman
9--Shadows in the Land of Grace: the Comparison Game

I've written one blog about how one can get to the Land of Grace; in that blog, I described a long solo journey over an ocean with Jesus, where He is the only companion, truly the only "pillar" left standing. Although I think the ways to come to the Land of Grace are as varied as the many individual life stories present in the world, I do think I believe there must be some element of recognizing Jesus as the ONLY one, in all of them:

The ONLY one who knows everything in us.
The ONLY one who loves us unconditionally, in spite of knowing everything in us.
The ONLY one who actually has the power to save, heal, and forgive us.
The ONLY one who never runs out of patience or grace.
The ONLY one who is not stained with the corruption of this world, and therefore, the ONLY one who deserves our whole-hearted hope.

And so on.

I've envisioned other metaphorical journeys to the Land of Grace, both inspired by different verses in Isaiah. One journey is through a desert. In that case, just about everything is taken away from you and you finally cry out in desperation. This can be equated to colliding with a huge personal failure, with discovering that safe spots are no longer safe, with dealing with major struggles, etc. What does a desert look like? It looks like a vast barren landscape, with no comfort, no food, no place to hide, no trustworthy companion, no inspiration. Where does Jesus meet us in that moment?

He says, "The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the Lord will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them. I will make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys. I will turn the desert into pools of water, and the parched ground into springs. I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive. I will set pines in the wasteland, the fir and cypress together, so that people may see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the Lord has done this, that the Holy One of Israel has created it." (Isaiah 41:17-20)

In other words, after finding ourselves so wholly devoid of confidence, comfort, or companionship, we cry out for help-- and He promises to answer that prayer. Once we've acknowledged that we are wholly lost without Him, He tenderly provides water, springs, new life. He plants trees alongside each other that normally wouldn't be seen in close proximity, as an image of reconcilliation. He makes it BETTER-- and we know, at that point, He's the ONLY one that could have done so.

The other journey I pictured was out of the Shadowlands. In that image, I picture a person diving deeper and deeper into shadows to cover up his or her own sin. He shrouds himself in the death-cloak of the world, because the Light of Truth is too shattering. I imagine that person finally entering into total and utter darkness, lost, wandering, trapped, made blind in suffocating night. At that point, the Lord tells His people in the Land of Grace to go rescue the prisoner of darkness. He tells them,

"I will take hold of your hand. [I will make you a light] to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison, and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness. ...I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth... All [of these people] are trapped in pits or hidden away in prisons. They have become plunder, with no one to rescue them; they have been made loot, with no one to say, 'Send them back.' Which of you will listen to this or pay close attention in time to come?" (Isaiah 42:6-7, 16, 22-23)

It's interesting isn't it? In that second chunk, I can't tell if God's giving more reassurances to the people trapped in darkness, or to His servants who He orders to go get them. Those Land of Gracers have work to do, that's becoming ever more obvious to me. I can tell you that, throughout the context of this whole passage in Isaiah, the adament theme is that God is the ONLY one who can accomplish this all. He scorns idols in that passage-- i.e. those people or things that we would look to deify and find safety in-- and repeats over and over that, not only does He love us and will protect us, but that He is the ONLY one with the power to save us.

What other journeys occur? You could probably tell me far better than I could tell you at this point, since our actual journeys are as varied as our DNA strands. Especially because I've come to the Land of Grace through a storm of turmoil, my envisioned journeys will generally be pictured as coming out of turmoil. I wonder if, in order to truly understand Grace, we must also understand what it means to feel trapped, what it means to be in Shadows, what it means to feel bereft of worldly safety. Like the song says, "The shadows prove the sunshine." Or, in the words of Annie Parsons, "Maybe the one who's been broken and healed is more graced than the one who's just well."

Still. I sure think it would be beautiful if we could arrive at the Land of Grace without scars.

On Thursday or Friday, in any case, I'll give you the layman's version of how it worked for me: getting from the Tower to the Land of Grace. I'll explain the actual circumstances, the actual thought process, the actual words from the journal. Next entry will be free of metaphor, I promise. Well... as much as it's possible for me to be free of metaphor. :)

In the meantime, I listened to this song today. It's incredible-- talks about the Towers, and the Shadowlands, and the Land of Grace all together. Listen to it and read the lyrics (in the video) with the analogy in mind.

And... SCENE

Now: a return to the teaching blogs. Only because I'm required to do one teaching-related-blog per week. Plus: I know ya love 'em. Right?

This last week, we started trying to put together a play of The Ramayana, which is the Indian epic we just finished reading. Early in the week, Viola had mentioned that she might need to leave early. "That's fine!" I said. "I can take 5th period. It would probably good for me to get more face time with them before Matt observes me anyway."
But Viola hemmed and hawed, suggesting another teacher come lead the class, or that she get a sub. Finally, she said, "I'll just stay. It's fine." I admit I was a little disappointed-- I'm comfortable enough with our kids now that I'd love to start "stretching my wings." Plus, I was a theater major-- and we were running scenes! Obviously though, I respect Viola's leadership-- I'm her fourth intern, and she knows what to do with us.
I did ask her though, "I hope you feel comfortable leaving me with the kids... I want you to feel like you can trust me to do a good job with them!"
"Oh, absolutely I do!" she said. We left it at that.

Then I got my chance after all. :) When we started running scenes, I think Viola quickly realized that directing was something I'm very comfortable doing. I was giving the kids blocking (stage directions), and explaining that levels and placement on the stage can indicate more or less power, and I was giving them character directions, and all sorts of things. Working the scenes became very naturally shared between us-- she gave the kids a direction, and then I gave a direction, and us both supported the other. We only disagreed at one point: I encouraged the kids to build " the rickety bridge across the ocean" using chairs and tables, "And then, you know, just carefully traipse across them!" That was the only time Viola pulled rank.
"Liability!"
She was right, and we all knew it. We good-naturedly deferred, the kids giving me a, "Daaang," sort of grin.

Later at lunch, Jane the theatre teacher was complaining that our school sub wouldn't agree to cover her 6th period. "It's his birthday, so he's leaving early..."
"Greta could do it," Viola offered. "She was a theatre major! She was great working with the kids today."
Aww! "I wouldn't mind!" I said.
Jane paused, considering it. "Okay. That would be great."

So then I got to teach a theatre class all by myself! We ran the freshmen's mini-play, and then I worked with the seniors on their scenes. I got to direct almost every kid in some way or another, and I felt really good about how the scenes improved. Jane came in at the end and said, "So how'd it go?"
One girl, who had seemed frustrated that she hadn't gotten more attention earlier, said, "It was BORING."
Talk about raining on my parade. Jane reprimanded the girl, and then watched me finish giving direction to the seniors.

After class, I went to the student who had made the "boring" comment and I said, "Kaley, is everything okay? You seemed a little upset at the end of class."
She looked caught off-guard. "I'm okay."
"Okay. I just wanted to make sure you had a chance to talk to me, if you had anything on your mind. My feelings were a little hurt when you said the class was boring, because I really did my best to make sure everyone had a chance to perform, and that you all got feedback."
"Sorry," she said.
"It's okay. I want you to know that I value your opinion, and that I'm open to talking with you, but I also appreciate your respect."
"Okay."
"Okay. Have a good afternoon."

I finished up with Jane, telling her the directions I'd given the kids. She nodded enthusiastically and affirmed the notes I'd given them. The week culminated with me teaching almost ALL the classes on Friday, because Viola was getting grades in, and she figured I could do it-- that I could run the scenes. And I did it! Even with the hard classes! YAY!!

And what's GREAT about that is that the kids are starting to get used to me as Viola's co-TEACHER, not just her assistant.

I'm loving the one-on-ones, as far as dealing with "attitudes" go. There was a lot of 'TUDE on Friday so I had several more chats, and the kids are just SO much better to talk to and relate to when you're chatting with them one-on-one, than when they're just trying to be a spectacle in class. I haven't mastered the en masse classroom management yet (though I'm definitely getting better), but because I've built relationships with most of these kids, it is SO GOOD talking to them one-on-one about their behavior in class. The conversations are typically polite, and open, and I'm usually able to joke with the kids a little, or at least show them that I empathize with what they're dealing with.

"Okay guys, we're going to do a theatre warm up to get us all a little more energized. Let's start in the neutral position-- arms at your side, legs shoulder-width apart, weight evenly spread-- K? Can you drop your arms to your side?"
(K has her arms crossed, and is SCOWLING. She LIFTS her eyebrow in a challenge when I ask her to drop her arms.)
"Please?"
(Rolls her eyes and flings down her arms.) K was my main antagonist on Week One, but she's been great since then. The fact that she was being contentious over standing in the "Neutral Position" obviously indicated she was in A MOOD.

After the circle broke up and the kids were getting into their groups, I called her over.
"Hon what's up? You seem kind of off today."
"I'm having a REALLY bad day," she said angrily, and started to tear up.
"Okay... Okay. I know how a crappy day can affect... everything. I'll try not to ask too much of you today, but if you are involved in something we're working on... Can you give it your best shot?"
She nodded.
"Okay. Do your thing. Feel better."
And off she went.

Anyway: point being: I love the one-on-ones.

I AM SO LONG WINDED. THIS BLOG IS SO LONG. MY BLOGS ARE SO LONG.

Speaking of: it turns out that this is La vie d'une fille's 100th blog. The centennial blog. Bam.

Also, the two songs rounding out New 2 were picked yesterday: Eddie Vedder's "Hard Sun" from the Into the Wild Soundtrack, and then Michael Franti and the Spearhead's "Say Hey" which is AMAZING!!!! Watch the video. It will make you so happy. Let's all move to Jamaica.

Also, I think this is hilarious.

This makes the third blog in two days. Are you all caught up? Are ya?