Forgiveness

I forgive myself for having a messy room more often than a clean one.

I forgive myself for being weirdly obsessive about punctuation.

I forgive myself for not yet having developed a conscientious habit of tracking the money I spend.

I forgive myself for looking younger than I am.

I forgive myself for not being over it yet.

I forgive myself for sometimes breaking the rules that I should follow, and for following rules that some think I should break.

I forgive myself for not having played guitar in a long time, and for not having written a new song in an even longer time.

I forgive myself for not planning trips the way other people plan trips.

I forgive myself for being scared to try unfamiliar technology.

I forgive myself for constantly steering conversations towards deep issues, and for having trouble maintaining lighter ones.

I forgive myself for being one of those people who talks a lot in discussions.

I forgive myself for being bad with RSVP'ing, and remembering names, and keeping track of birthdays, and keeping track of any kind of a calendar at all.

I forgive myself for not being a girl who likes watching sports in her free time.

I forgive myself for getting scared sometimes.

I forgive myself for writing the letter, even though I still feel bad about it.

I forgive myself for not being married yet.

I forgive myself for wanting to be married some day, and for wanting to be a mom.

I forgive myself for trying something out and realizing that it might not work.

I forgive myself for having good days and hard days.

I forgive myself because I know I am forgiven, and because I know I am deeply, emphatically, passionately loved for being just as I am.

And I forgive myself because it means I am free and can try again.