Random, Profound Thoughts

It is 7:16am.

I must needs hie me to a restroom.

It is an unfortunate (awesome) byproduct of being an English teacher that I sometimes think in Shakespeare-talk.

I have a student that just drives me nuts. He is a meanie. I have decided, should I ever need to refer to this student on my blog, I will use the code-name, "Bromulous." He gets my goose.

It is an unfortunate (awesome) byproduct of living with Grandpa for two years that I sometimes think in Grandpa-talk.

"Hoooooly To-LE-do!"

Speaking of Grandpa, he had a blind date. When Grandpa considers women, he has two qualifications: 1.) That she be a democrat, and 2.) That she is in relatively good health.

We young whipper-snappers may look for an attractive appearance, decent education, a sense of humor, etc. With Grandpa: it's health. He just wants to know that a lady friend won't collapse when they're out to dinner.

In any case, the blind date did not fruitify. He had a blast with her, but at the end, the lady told him that she was already seriously dating someone else. What the h***! Old lady played my Grandpa?! Oh you SIT DOWN, beeatch!!

I work at a Christian school. I do not use words like beeatch.

I am very proper.

Actually, it is one of my favorite things to explain the dirty jokes in Shakespeare to my students. Also, yesterday, I told my seniors the story of why Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI didn't consummate their marriage for so long which was basically: because they couldn't figure out how to "do it." They literally didn't know how, for years. The seniors were thoroughly titillated by that story.

Earlier in the year, I accidentally used the word "fugly." I thought it was a combination of "funky" and "ugly." It is a combination of a different word with "ugly." My seniors have yet to let me forget it. Especially since the subject of my description was Jesus.

Lord forgive me.

My AP kids are going to come in in 15 minutes. I lost half of their timed writes. I am hideously irresponsible.

Today is Friday. I have a three day weekend. God speed, 2:45pm.