It is 7:16am.
I must needs hie me to a restroom.
It is an unfortunate (awesome) byproduct of being an English teacher that I sometimes think in Shakespeare-talk.
I have a student that just drives me nuts. He is a meanie. I have decided, should I ever need to refer to this student on my blog, I will use the code-name, "Bromulous." He gets my goose.
It is an unfortunate (awesome) byproduct of living with Grandpa for two years that I sometimes think in Grandpa-talk.
"Hoooooly To-LE-do!"
Speaking of Grandpa, he had a blind date. When Grandpa considers women, he has two qualifications: 1.) That she be a democrat, and 2.) That she is in relatively good health.
We young whipper-snappers may look for an attractive appearance, decent education, a sense of humor, etc. With Grandpa: it's health. He just wants to know that a lady friend won't collapse when they're out to dinner.
In any case, the blind date did not fruitify. He had a blast with her, but at the end, the lady told him that she was already seriously dating someone else. What the h***! Old lady played my Grandpa?! Oh you SIT DOWN, beeatch!!
I work at a Christian school. I do not use words like beeatch.
I am very proper.
Actually, it is one of my favorite things to explain the dirty jokes in Shakespeare to my students. Also, yesterday, I told my seniors the story of why Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI didn't consummate their marriage for so long which was basically: because they couldn't figure out how to "do it." They literally didn't know how, for years. The seniors were thoroughly titillated by that story.
Earlier in the year, I accidentally used the word "fugly." I thought it was a combination of "funky" and "ugly." It is a combination of a different word with "ugly." My seniors have yet to let me forget it. Especially since the subject of my description was Jesus.
Lord forgive me.
My AP kids are going to come in in 15 minutes. I lost half of their timed writes. I am hideously irresponsible.
Today is Friday. I have a three day weekend. God speed, 2:45pm.
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Feb 12, 2010
Aug 16, 2009
Dear Diary
From the very first one:
March 1st (1992)
to day I Just turned 8. I fellt relly prowd caus I'm eight.
My wish was That my birth day my next year would be as good as this one
* * * * * * * *
March 6th
Evan said, "he loved me," ok
I love Chirs D.
* * * * * * * *
Scott loves me
* * * * * * * *
Ice is cold
Lions are scary
Oh dear I fell down
Very nice
eggs are yummy
cold snow
Oh wow
lot of apples
i am nice
no, this is the end
(Acrostic poem= secret code= "I love Colin.")
* * * * * * * *
1/29/1994
Dear Diary,
Paul is getting potty trained. It's really cute. Whenever he goes potty, he gets a sticker. The potty chair even has a little sheild for boys who shoot forward. Mom says after Grandma is gone she's going to put underpants on him, and when he goes potty, it'll trick'll down his legs. Mom says thats how you do it, but I feel sorry for Paul.
March 1st (1992)
to day I Just turned 8. I fellt relly prowd caus I'm eight.
My wish was That my birth day my next year would be as good as this one
* * * * * * * *
March 6th
Evan said, "he loved me," ok
I love Chirs D.
* * * * * * * *
Scott loves me
* * * * * * * *
Ice is cold
Lions are scary
Oh dear I fell down
Very nice
eggs are yummy
cold snow
Oh wow
lot of apples
i am nice
no, this is the end
(Acrostic poem= secret code= "I love Colin.")
* * * * * * * *
1/29/1994
Dear Diary,
Paul is getting potty trained. It's really cute. Whenever he goes potty, he gets a sticker. The potty chair even has a little sheild for boys who shoot forward. Mom says after Grandma is gone she's going to put underpants on him, and when he goes potty, it'll trick'll down his legs. Mom says thats how you do it, but I feel sorry for Paul.
Aug 6, 2009
There have been so many blog-worthy things to blog ABOUT...
Like:
- Heidi getting married
- The french men's visit
- Thoughts about God on Lake Washington
- Thoughts about the new job
- Etc.
But for now my thoughts are consumed by this:
Four days ago, I studied out in the yard on my favorite giant beach towel, and left it in the grass.
Three days ago, Grandpa's landscaping guys came and put fish-guts fertilizer all over the yard, and replaced my giant beach towel on the grass when they were done.
For the last two days, the yard has reeked, and my towel has marinated in the reekage.
Ten minutes ago, the landscaping guys came back, and I hear the mower.
And I just know I need to go pick up that smelly reeking fish guts towel with my fingers, and pull it off the lawn. I need to clear the grass for the mower.
But the towel smells SO. BAD.
Can I be blamed for the lack of a better blog when THIS IS OCCURRING?
- Heidi getting married
- The french men's visit
- Thoughts about God on Lake Washington
- Thoughts about the new job
- Etc.
But for now my thoughts are consumed by this:
Four days ago, I studied out in the yard on my favorite giant beach towel, and left it in the grass.
Three days ago, Grandpa's landscaping guys came and put fish-guts fertilizer all over the yard, and replaced my giant beach towel on the grass when they were done.
For the last two days, the yard has reeked, and my towel has marinated in the reekage.
Ten minutes ago, the landscaping guys came back, and I hear the mower.
And I just know I need to go pick up that smelly reeking fish guts towel with my fingers, and pull it off the lawn. I need to clear the grass for the mower.
But the towel smells SO. BAD.
Can I be blamed for the lack of a better blog when THIS IS OCCURRING?
May 31, 2009
Sometimes, Random Thoughts Pop Into My Head.
"My life would better in every way if only I had an easily accessible filing cabinet."
"I want to go on a jungle excursion. With elephants."
"'And so... just as mysteriously as they had arrived, the Hiccups left.'"
"I want to go on a jungle excursion. With elephants."
"'And so... just as mysteriously as they had arrived, the Hiccups left.'"
Feb 23, 2009
Wanted: One Shopping Cart
Am considering a daily blog for lent. Why?
Well. Because my blogs tend to be far too verbose for your average internet reader, and I think short daily blogs would be good practice in brevity. And might perhaps provide a more steady chronicle of daily life.
(But Greta: isn't Lenten activity generally supposed to bring you closer to God?)
Well.
Perhaps I will try this daily blogging for the next 40-ish days, and do something else for Lent.
These are my Monday thoughts:
Easily, my least favorite part of every day is getting from my house to my car, and then again from my car to the classroom. Why? Because I carry these things:
Binder. (Huge. Stuffed. Heavy.)
Satchel. (Huge. Stuffed. Heavy.)
Purse (Filled with SO MANY UNNECESSARY THINGS, making it huge, stuffed, and heavy.)
Lunch (Little. Important. Cumbersome.)
Coffee (Delicious. Vital. Incommodious.)
Keys. (For which to open car and classroom.)
That means I look like this:
Sometimes I drop things. Boy is that ever a pain.
The worst part is when I'm trying to unlock the classroom door. I usually wear my school key around my neck (cause duh, my hands are full), so I have to stoop over, use my two free fingers to work the key in the lock, fling the door open wide enough to catch it with my foot, and then kick the door open with my leg. There are always boys playing Magic cards outside our door. Which means I always have a captive audience.
Also, I'm usually wearing heels. Which makes the bag-lady depiction that much more ridiculous, and that much more tippy-toppy.
The binder is the worst. Boy, do I hate that binder. But I file things away in it daily, and on the days when I've left it at home, I've usually needed it.
Why do I have so many things? Why can I not brevity my life? Why do I not excise cargo the way I excise superfluous words in my students' papers?
Probably because I usually have too many words in papers.
And that is the end of my life.
Well. Because my blogs tend to be far too verbose for your average internet reader, and I think short daily blogs would be good practice in brevity. And might perhaps provide a more steady chronicle of daily life.
(But Greta: isn't Lenten activity generally supposed to bring you closer to God?)
Well.
Perhaps I will try this daily blogging for the next 40-ish days, and do something else for Lent.
These are my Monday thoughts:
Easily, my least favorite part of every day is getting from my house to my car, and then again from my car to the classroom. Why? Because I carry these things:
Binder. (Huge. Stuffed. Heavy.)
Satchel. (Huge. Stuffed. Heavy.)
Purse (Filled with SO MANY UNNECESSARY THINGS, making it huge, stuffed, and heavy.)
Lunch (Little. Important. Cumbersome.)
Coffee (Delicious. Vital. Incommodious.)
Keys. (For which to open car and classroom.)
That means I look like this:
Sometimes I drop things. Boy is that ever a pain.
The worst part is when I'm trying to unlock the classroom door. I usually wear my school key around my neck (cause duh, my hands are full), so I have to stoop over, use my two free fingers to work the key in the lock, fling the door open wide enough to catch it with my foot, and then kick the door open with my leg. There are always boys playing Magic cards outside our door. Which means I always have a captive audience.
Also, I'm usually wearing heels. Which makes the bag-lady depiction that much more ridiculous, and that much more tippy-toppy.
The binder is the worst. Boy, do I hate that binder. But I file things away in it daily, and on the days when I've left it at home, I've usually needed it.
Why do I have so many things? Why can I not brevity my life? Why do I not excise cargo the way I excise superfluous words in my students' papers?
Probably because I usually have too many words in papers.
And that is the end of my life.
Feb 10, 2009
Bits
Deliberate: Grammar Jeopardy in class tomorrow. To dress or not to dress like Alex Trebek?
Consider: Candy for prizes? Contributing to the growing obesity problem in America perhaps not the best way to enrich young lives and minds. Burned cd's of my favorite music instead? Yesssss.
Avoid homework.
Love the peanut-butter english muffin so deeply. So truly.
Think: What to pack for Nashville??
Get tax 1040 and insurance paperwork ready to mail. (Bow to invisible audience of clappers.)
Panic: Valentines is on Friday. ACK. People I love deserve Valentines, QUICK TO BUY THE HEARTS AND DOILIES.
Blame Facebook. For so many things.
Avoid homework.
Enjoy the word, "mustn't."
Wish for supernatural snapping powers that could clean rooms, a la Mary Poppins.
Dreamed of demons last night. Scary!! Will instruct sub-conscious to find its way to Play-doh and lollipops tonight.
Toss new haircut. Make poochy-lips face in mirror.
Avoid homework.
Write fancy fonts on newly burned cd's. "Greta likes these songs." Yes. Yes, she does.
Feel so heavy-eyed.
Read.
Tuck.
Sleep.
Consider: Candy for prizes? Contributing to the growing obesity problem in America perhaps not the best way to enrich young lives and minds. Burned cd's of my favorite music instead? Yesssss.
Avoid homework.
Love the peanut-butter english muffin so deeply. So truly.
Think: What to pack for Nashville??
Get tax 1040 and insurance paperwork ready to mail. (Bow to invisible audience of clappers.)
Panic: Valentines is on Friday. ACK. People I love deserve Valentines, QUICK TO BUY THE HEARTS AND DOILIES.
Blame Facebook. For so many things.
Avoid homework.
Enjoy the word, "mustn't."
Wish for supernatural snapping powers that could clean rooms, a la Mary Poppins.
Dreamed of demons last night. Scary!! Will instruct sub-conscious to find its way to Play-doh and lollipops tonight.
Toss new haircut. Make poochy-lips face in mirror.
Avoid homework.
Write fancy fonts on newly burned cd's. "Greta likes these songs." Yes. Yes, she does.
Feel so heavy-eyed.
Read.
Tuck.
Sleep.
Oct 13, 2008
Thoughts on Monday:
(A Smattering)
What?? 6:45 already? I need to get up. Do I need to get up? I don't need to shower.
....Yes I do need to shower. MEEHHHHHHH.
Still haven't done laundry. Crap. What is left. My blue turtle-neck sweater. How to do hair. Curly.
Ack, curly is so bad. How to fix the bad curliness. Put it up.
Turtle-neck sweater plus curly hair up equals prudish lady from 1883. Complete then with glasses. Perfect 1883. Should carry embroidery and/or needlepoint.
There is not enough coffee in the world.
Adam turned in his essaaaaaaay!!!! ...And it's awful, but he TURNED IT IN!!!! He even typed it!!!
Heather turned in her essay!!!! And she didn't write a conclusion, but the rest is really good, and she took my suggestion for an introductory hook! GOOO HEATHER!!!
What is wrong with Heather...? What is wrong with Leslie...? Are they high??
I wish Beau was still here. Yay Beau. Yay yay Beau.
In dance class, in front of the full length mirrors: SO look like I'm from 1883.
Remember to remember bank. Stop at bank. Be productive. Stop at bank. ...What?? It's Columbus Day? Since when?? And-- why didn't we get school off??
Skype with Beau. How do I look on computer screen. Greta. Don't be vain or stupid. But adjust the angle anyway.
Monday's deep thought: We will all be healthier, less grumpy people if we don't look for validation or fulfillment from each other. Got to get from God. GOT to GET from GOD. Then can be happy and helpful with others/friends/very nice boyfriend.
What a change: this weekend, Greta= glamourous queen with romantic spontaneous boyfriend who surprises her with a visit up from California... who goes walking with him in the rain... who pulls over on the side of the road to look at glorious sunsets... who gets kisses. Tonight: Greta= sweats-clad grad student... who eats cereal, toast, avocado, and leftover potato salad by herself for dinner... while listening to her professor give a lecture on podcast.
Weekend Greta is cooler than Monday Greta.
IT IS COLD IN THIS HOUSE. Rain sounds make house even colder.
Homework. Uck. Ucky ness. Blog instead. What about. I am smattering today. I am a scattering smattering flattering wattle.
Time to get back to work.
What?? 6:45 already? I need to get up. Do I need to get up? I don't need to shower.
....Yes I do need to shower. MEEHHHHHHH.
Still haven't done laundry. Crap. What is left. My blue turtle-neck sweater. How to do hair. Curly.
Ack, curly is so bad. How to fix the bad curliness. Put it up.
Turtle-neck sweater plus curly hair up equals prudish lady from 1883. Complete then with glasses. Perfect 1883. Should carry embroidery and/or needlepoint.
There is not enough coffee in the world.
Adam turned in his essaaaaaaay!!!! ...And it's awful, but he TURNED IT IN!!!! He even typed it!!!
Heather turned in her essay!!!! And she didn't write a conclusion, but the rest is really good, and she took my suggestion for an introductory hook! GOOO HEATHER!!!
What is wrong with Heather...? What is wrong with Leslie...? Are they high??
I wish Beau was still here. Yay Beau. Yay yay Beau.
In dance class, in front of the full length mirrors: SO look like I'm from 1883.
Remember to remember bank. Stop at bank. Be productive. Stop at bank. ...What?? It's Columbus Day? Since when?? And-- why didn't we get school off??
Skype with Beau. How do I look on computer screen. Greta. Don't be vain or stupid. But adjust the angle anyway.
Monday's deep thought: We will all be healthier, less grumpy people if we don't look for validation or fulfillment from each other. Got to get from God. GOT to GET from GOD. Then can be happy and helpful with others/friends/very nice boyfriend.
What a change: this weekend, Greta= glamourous queen with romantic spontaneous boyfriend who surprises her with a visit up from California... who goes walking with him in the rain... who pulls over on the side of the road to look at glorious sunsets... who gets kisses. Tonight: Greta= sweats-clad grad student... who eats cereal, toast, avocado, and leftover potato salad by herself for dinner... while listening to her professor give a lecture on podcast.
Weekend Greta is cooler than Monday Greta.
IT IS COLD IN THIS HOUSE. Rain sounds make house even colder.
Homework. Uck. Ucky ness. Blog instead. What about. I am smattering today. I am a scattering smattering flattering wattle.
Time to get back to work.
May 9, 2008
Words of (Random) Wisdom
Scene: Girl sits at computer. It is late at night. The lights are out. The house is silent, and has been for some time. Suddenly: from the other room calls a clear, firm voice:
Gramps: Just know that: on MONDAY, you have to use new stamps.
Pause.
Girl: Okay!
Gramps: Just know that: on MONDAY, you have to use new stamps.
Pause.
Girl: Okay!
Apr 17, 2008
I'll Wave at You Somewhere In-Between
I received one of those email forwards the other day that asks you deep and probing questions, and then leaves you with the suggestion that you forward it on to everyone else you know or else risk being hit by a falling anvil. The problem I have with these surveys is that you can make yourself sound as glamorous, or as Urkel-nerdy as you choose, depending on how manipulate your answers.
Observe: my responses below. One set as Awesome Rocker Traveller Chick, the other as, I Sit In My Room And Read Girl. Both sets entirely true.
First: As this lovely one:
Three jobs I have had in my life: Blockbuster video checkout girl. Sports Bra Customer Service Rep. Iron-er of shirts, slacks and the occasional jumper. Why dream big?
Three places I have lived: Spokane. Vancouver. At my grandpa’s house. I like to stick around.
Three movies I would watch over and over: When Harry Met Sally. Princess Bride. Pride and Prejudice- the one with Colin Firth? Oh hey golly… That Colin Firth. My, my, my.
Three TV Shows that I watch: Dancing with the Stars. The news. The Office. I'm pretty sure Pam and I would be best friends.
Three places I have been: Um. Starbucks. The library…. A dance camp in Walla Walla.
Three People who e-mail me (regularly): Like… people? Or Barnes and Nobles, and my old college, and that kind of thing? Um… No comment.
Three of my favorite foods: Brownies. Ice cream. Pickles.
Three of my least favorite foods: Mushrooms. Brussell Sprouts. Sushi. (Raw fish?? Really?? It’s just so dangerous!)
Three Things I am looking forward to this year: Sunshine. School starting again. Maybe a date. (Tee hee.)
Three Places I'd rather be right now: In a café with my journal. In my sister’s apartment having tea. In my bed.
...And now let's do this one:
Three jobs I have had in my life: Street Performer. Actress. Stellar So-Cal College Student Mentor. Heck, why not throw in a fourth? I’ve got sweet jobs to SPARE: African Children Entertainer/Tutor/Overall Bad-A** Missionary.
Three places I have lived: London. Malibu. Malawi. Rolling like a stone with no moss, word. Got no strings to hold me down, MM. Gypsy soul. (You understand.)
Three movies I would watch over and over: I don’t watch movies. I jump off cliffs.
Three TV Shows that I watch: I don’t watch TV. I rock out.
Three places I have been: In Zambia on an African safari. On the top of the Eiffel Tower. In the Sagrada de Familia in Barcelona, when I was homeless.
Three People who e-mail me (regularly): My French friend Sylvain. My Australian friend Natasha. Sweet bands.
Three of my favorite foods: Wine, cheese, rich dark chocolate.
Three of my least favorite foods: Anything with scales, eyeballs, or teeth still present.
Three Things I am looking forward to this year: A trip to France. Playing guitar in Cinque Terre. Directing a high-school play and teaching the little dears how to be wicked awesome.
Three Places I'd rather be right now: On a Swiss mountain Trail. In a hot-air balloon. On a Costa Rican Zip-Line.
Okay, I'm done. There's really no point to this blog except to point out the fact that I am both nerd and rockstar. But let's be honest-- aren't we all??
Observe: my responses below. One set as Awesome Rocker Traveller Chick, the other as, I Sit In My Room And Read Girl. Both sets entirely true.
First: As this lovely one:
Three jobs I have had in my life: Blockbuster video checkout girl. Sports Bra Customer Service Rep. Iron-er of shirts, slacks and the occasional jumper. Why dream big?
Three places I have lived: Spokane. Vancouver. At my grandpa’s house. I like to stick around.
Three movies I would watch over and over: When Harry Met Sally. Princess Bride. Pride and Prejudice- the one with Colin Firth? Oh hey golly… That Colin Firth. My, my, my.
Three TV Shows that I watch: Dancing with the Stars. The news. The Office. I'm pretty sure Pam and I would be best friends.
Three places I have been: Um. Starbucks. The library…. A dance camp in Walla Walla.
Three People who e-mail me (regularly): Like… people? Or Barnes and Nobles, and my old college, and that kind of thing? Um… No comment.
Three of my favorite foods: Brownies. Ice cream. Pickles.
Three of my least favorite foods: Mushrooms. Brussell Sprouts. Sushi. (Raw fish?? Really?? It’s just so dangerous!)
Three Things I am looking forward to this year: Sunshine. School starting again. Maybe a date. (Tee hee.)
Three Places I'd rather be right now: In a café with my journal. In my sister’s apartment having tea. In my bed.
...And now let's do this one:
Three jobs I have had in my life: Street Performer. Actress. Stellar So-Cal College Student Mentor. Heck, why not throw in a fourth? I’ve got sweet jobs to SPARE: African Children Entertainer/Tutor/Overall Bad-A** Missionary.
Three places I have lived: London. Malibu. Malawi. Rolling like a stone with no moss, word. Got no strings to hold me down, MM. Gypsy soul. (You understand.)
Three movies I would watch over and over: I don’t watch movies. I jump off cliffs.
Three TV Shows that I watch: I don’t watch TV. I rock out.
Three places I have been: In Zambia on an African safari. On the top of the Eiffel Tower. In the Sagrada de Familia in Barcelona, when I was homeless.
Three People who e-mail me (regularly): My French friend Sylvain. My Australian friend Natasha. Sweet bands.
Three of my favorite foods: Wine, cheese, rich dark chocolate.
Three of my least favorite foods: Anything with scales, eyeballs, or teeth still present.
Three Things I am looking forward to this year: A trip to France. Playing guitar in Cinque Terre. Directing a high-school play and teaching the little dears how to be wicked awesome.
Three Places I'd rather be right now: On a Swiss mountain Trail. In a hot-air balloon. On a Costa Rican Zip-Line.
Okay, I'm done. There's really no point to this blog except to point out the fact that I am both nerd and rockstar. But let's be honest-- aren't we all??
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