When I've Been Working Alone in the House All Day, I Start Conversing with Myself

I am so over this school work.

Yeah, and the school work is over you too! As in, your stack of books TOWERS over you! Yuk yuk!

Self: that was the lamest joke in all the world.

Yes. Ooo: enjoy phrases like, "in all the world."

Also like "unflappable." "Irregardless."

Why does spellcheck say that irregardless is not a word?

Oh. Because it is not.

Remember when you used that in class and your sophomore student interrupted you and corrected you?

OMG. That was totally embarrassing. (Sob.)

But also kind of funny.

My legs are stiff. I am stiff all the time these days. Remember ballet? I could do the splits three ways. Not flexible anymore.

Maybe you are. You should check.

(Self commences in attempt at the splits on the floor.)

DAAAANG! That was real close!

Yes, but I can't even touch my toes. The hamstrings hate me.

It's funny to say "hate" with an accent. Like "hata." "I HATA YOUUUU!"

(Roll eyes at Self.)

People never think my jokes are funny. Like the whale joke. I'm the only one who ever laughs. That joke is HILARIOUS!

I can't believe how hungry I was earlier. I was so hungry!!! I was RAVENOUS.

Like the word RAVENOUS.

Now I'm better.

People are going to think this is such a weird blog.

I HAVE interesting stories. But my bloggy hinges got rusty.

(Pauses to take moment of pleasure in silly phrase.)

And so now there is this crazygalweirdo blog.

Talking to yourself.

People will not hire you to teach if they read this blog.

(Sob.)