There Were Ducks.

Lately, I've been trying to make a point to pray in the morning. When I was feeling super stressed out over how much I had to do a couple weeks ago, I remember somehow feeling like I got the message, "If you give me time, I'll give you time." I don't believe God works like a juke box-- "you do this, I'll do that"-- but I DO think that He has a cool way of helping us out when we say, "Ack, you do it!" rather than looking at our To-Do list and bursting into tears.

This morning I forgot though. I procrastinated and did other things.

I finally left for my study cafe, feeling guilty about my late start, but then remembered the not praying. "Whoops," I thought. Split-second debate: could I manage just throwing up the prayer on my drive to the cafe? The answer came immediately. (Nope.) I turned the wheel to head down to the park on the lake.

When walking to the dock, I saw black-berries and I ate some.

I chose a dock that was pierced four times by tall metal mooring pillars. I walked to the last pillar and leaned against it, looking out over gray lake, reflecting the dark sky. The mooring pillar rocked with the pull of the water underneath, and I booped and bopped along with it.

Started breathing.

A duck hopped up on the dock and wandered over to me. It pecked my red cowboy boot, which made me grin. Another one hopped up on the dock-- an ugly duck whose feathers had somehow turned a mottled white. I thought of people whose hair turns white because of a traumatic experience, and I wondered if the duck had been traumatized, and I thought, "That is a poor duck." Then one more hopped up: by far the prettiest, and she seemed rather satisfied with herself. They strutted around me, the ugly one quacking in conversational bursts. I looked at their lone purple feathers underneath the brown. Why is it ducks should have that one jewel-colored feather? It is such a surprise-feather. They stretched their wings and their feet and shook their heads, and looked like they were impromptu yoga-ing.

And I liked all that.

And I prayed, and it made my heart feel full, and it made things just right.

Now I am at my cafe-- still not working-- but I will. And the barista made a picture in my latte and the picture was a feather.

And my heart feels full, and things feel just right.