On Coiffing

What is it about hair-cuts that inspires such verbal verbosity from females? We talk about it and talk about it and deliberate, and consult other friends... And then we actually GET it cut, and consult and deliberate some more... Is it right?? Is it flattering?? Is it the BEST it could be?? What about the color? What about the layers? And the BANGS, good heavens, the BANGS!

Why the big deal, right? Hair is a living organism that grows, and it will GROW again-- no matter how disastrously shorn. So why make such a fuss about it?

I'll tell you why. Because, from almost the beginning of time, women have been responsible for the aesthetics of the world. In some species, like with the peacock, it is the boys that do the preening. But for the human ladies? The boon (or burden, more often) falls on us. Centuries ago, when women weren't valued for their word or opinions, they let their looks do the talking. Have any of you seen The Duchess? She conducted political campaigns via hair-do.



And let's not forget Marie Antoinette, whose lavish locks basically provoked the French revolution:

So us ladies get the message: do your hair up nice. Frame your face. Maximize your appeal. Etc. etc. etc. We learn: it's the IMPORTANT THING.






I actually sort of think that all that logic is superfluous. And also, lame. I am more than my hair. Duh.

But regardless: I just got my hair cut again. And I think I like it. But I am afraid that I don't. And it is ESPECIALLY short this time. And so I am sort of stressing out about it.


We'll see how it looks in three weeks. Hair-cuts generally hit their best stride about three weeks post-scissors, I think.

And with that, I will end what started off as an attempt to give a philosophical dissertation on the pressures and expectations women feel towards the achievement of impossible aesthetics... with a return to the blatantly shallow.

I suppose we all fight it, and triumph over it, and return to it, and succumb to it, and challenge it, and LIVE the whole thing. One more example then.

One more girl.

Inventing

This weekend, I invented a combination of ingredients that resulted in one of the most fabulous taste explosions that my mouth has ever experienced: herbal goat cheese (yum yum yum), Essential Baking crackers, and la pièce de résistance: rhubarb sauce. The sweet of the rhubarb with the cheese-- oh, wow. Fainting.

I also began a project that I am telling myself will be an incredibly fun, creatively stimulating activity for the next 8 months: inventing ways to do my now-grievously short hair.

Observe:
The MULLET-HAWK:


This was invented while getting ready for church: I tried to see if my hair would Marilyn-Monroe it by doing it curly, but alas, there was no such babe looking back at me in the mirror. So I turned to my ever reliable bobby-pin arsenal, and began pinning pinning pinning. Voila:

Business in the Front:

And PARTY in the Back:

Party-in-the-back, mohawk style. See? Kind of a like a skunk. Anyway, it's FUNKY if nothing else, right? I felt proud of myself.

We'll see what other modifications I'm able to come up with. Maybe I can stick with the 50's Housewife thing and just keep trying to work out retro styles. They sure take a long time though.

Anyway, just to satisfy your curiosity, this is the boon that I'm now stuck with:



Alright, granted it's not this, but it's just not a great CUT-- like, it's pretty poorly shaped, and triangles at the bottom instead of rounding out... It's just sort of bleah. And let's be honest: THIS compared to the "before..." It's pretty clear, huh?

Oh well. As some of you have sweetly encouraged me, it will grow. And until then, there's always my go-to fix:



Or, maybe I'll just reinvent myself as a master stylist, and try to fix it myself...

Oh-- and p.s., my mentor teacher asked me to come up with some good ice-breakers/name-games for the first few days of class. (More inventing.) Any suggestions??

Eff.

Hi.

I cut it. I cut it short.

I don't like it at all. I can't remember the last time I actually did NOT like a haircut, because most cuts look alright on me, and I always like trying new styles. But I don't like this one, I don't like it at all, and I am feeling very sorry for myself.

I am so sad about this that, even though I know hair is a totally trivial thing and that my looks are not encompassed in something so slight, I cried about it. I got off the bus from down town, walked home, started making myself lunch, and cried.

Why? Why cut it??! I liked it long!! Even as I walked to the salon, I was wearing my hair down and I felt so pretty and confident, and I was walking with long strides and feeling happy.

And I walked out like a bedraggled pitiful muffin lump.

Why cut it?? WHY?? AND, if anything, it makes me look YOUNGER. Like-- SH*%!!!

I am so sad about this.

I was going to post a before and after picture. This is the before:


My "after" was going to be confidently grinning, looking oh-so-pleased with myself. BUT I AM NOT POSTING AN AFTER, because I just look at the "Before," and I think, "It was so bodacious! It was so tossable! It was so... much... PRETTIER!" If I posted an after, then everyone would just think, "Whoops. Well, yup. Makeover gone awry. Poor girl."

ALSO: my hair grows really, effing slow. Eight months of "the awkward stage" to look forward to.

Good news: it looks alright under my favorite hat. So. You know. I'll just wear that til Easter.

Okay: Greta: get yourself realistic now. Hair is not a big deal. You can get yourself more hats. YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY YOUR LOOKS AND THEY ARE NOT WHAT GIVES YOU YOUR WORTH. You can get over this. You can grow it out again. You need to stop being vain.

But.

Daaaaammnnn.... :(