April Fooled Me

When I was in high-school, I befriended three boys on a bus ride to a youth-group summer camp. They entertained me with descriptions of when they had fooled people by telling them far-fetched stories.

"The trick is to have three people tell them together," one said, enthusiastically.
"Right!" another said. "Because one person is the main one telling the story--"
"And then someone else jumps in, and is like, 'Oh yeah, I heard something about that on the news!'"
"-- Yeah! And then the third person jumps in and confirms it: 'Me too! On CNN!'"
"By doing that, you can totally convince people of ANYTHING."

"Wooow..." I said: convinced.

"But we would never do that to you," one of them said.
"No," scoffed another. "Of course not. We like you too much."
"Awwww," I said, pleased.

"You know what was a crazy story that turned out to be TRUE though?" one asked.
"What?" I said, wide-eyed.
"When Linn Shwann, the Japanese synchronized swimmer, completely threw the 1988 Olympics."

Before I knew it, these three boys had told me the entire-- TRUE (not true)-- story of Linn Shwann, the Olympic Japanese synchronized swimmer, who had upset her favored Japanese team by swimming to the bottom of the pool, sitting on the tiles, and vehemently blowing bubbles.
"And of course, the two things that MAJORLY dock you in synchronized swimming--"
"Are touching the bottom, and blowing bubbles!" one of the boys finished, emphatically.
"Why did she DO it??" I asked incredulously. "Didn't she want to win??"
"Well, they think that Switzerland paid her off," one of the boys supplied, matter of factly.
"Switzerland had held the title for the last three Olympics. There was no way they were going to lose it to Japan. And Linn Shwann just happened to be the most susceptible target."

"Woooow...." I shook my head, dumb-founded. Convinced. FOOLED.

They all burst out laughing. I had completely fallen for it. I hadn't even questioned WHY THEY WOULD BE TELLING ME A STORY ABOUT LINN SHWANN, THE OLYMPIC JAPANESE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER. Ridiculous.


Years later, I was out with friends, celebrating my 22nd birthday. Two boys were there that I was only just getting to know. I heard one of them mention that he had grown up in Oklahoma.
"Cool!!" I said. "I always picture Oklahoma being full of cows and farms. 'Ooooook-lahoma!'"
"Seth grew up on a farm," the other friend said.
"You DID??" I asked, excited.
"Yup!" he nodded.
"Did you, like, collect the eggs from the chickens, and milk cows and stuff?"
"Oh yeah. Every morning. Mom cooked the eggs for breakfast, and then sent us out to muck the stables."
"That's so cool!!" I said. "I've always wanted to collect eggs and know how to milk cows!"
"Oh yeah," he continued. "Our house was actually a converted barn. The hay loft was the master bedroom-- it actually was really cool, there was a big balcony where they used to pitch hay out of the double doors."
"Seth grew up on the rodeo circuit too," Ben continued.
"You DID?" I asked.

And they continued. And elaborated. And expounded.

Until finally, Ben said, "Greta, Seth never lived on a farm."
I stopped. Looked at him for several seconds, confusion etched across my forehead. "What?"
"His dad is a doctor. And they live in, like, this super advanced architecturally technological home."
I was crushed. "Really...??" I looked at Seth, devastated. "So you really DIDN'T collect the eggs every morning...?"


Yesterday, I signed into Gmail, and noticed an advertisement for their newest Google Feature: "GMail Autopilot: the emailing tool that assesses your personalized writing style, and can then send automated replies to your emails!"

This concept horrified me, and I immediately announced as much via Facebook Status update:

"GRETA is completely horrified by the concept of Google Autopilot. Some computer writing FOR me?? What incentive am I going to give my students to learn to write?? BAAAAAA."

Seth-- that same Seth-- was the first to respond:
"haha you liked that too? i think it's a good attempt at their april fools day joke :) kinda like when i told you i grew up on a farm!"

. . .

I stared at my computer screen for a good fifteen seconds. Considered. Shook my head and furrowed my brows. Then, finally: typed a response:

"What? That was an April Fool's Joke?

... I am the most gullible person alive."

Monday Pile

Around my 25th birthday, Annie called and said, "Your present is coming a little late-- but I'm working on it! I've started a little birthday pile for you!"

I have nothing in particular to write about today, but many little things. Therefore, I give you: a Monday pile of blog.

1.) I had so much fun going out dancing Friday night. Teacher Greta was officially left at the door with the bouncer man. However, I woke up the next morning with a sore neck. Why did I have a sore neck? Oh: from the HAIR-TOSSING. Which prompted a compulsory inquiry of my friend Meg: "Was I an OVER-TOSSER on Friday night??"


I'm the one second from the right-- underneath Josh, with the arms. See? Mid-toss.

What a blast.

2.) HOWEVER, during the Friday festivities, I somehow lost BOTH the back of my phone, and my earring. My phone is a little nudie now! Such an exhibitionist.


3.) I downloaded "Viva la Vida" this weekend and CANNOT GET ENOUGH. This album is gorgeous!! Like-- EVERY song is unbelievable. Go Chris Martin. And dude-- why the heck didn't you bust out this kind of stuff earlier??


4.) I was completely unproductive this weekend. I did hardly ANY job application work. But I did go for a walk around Greenlake with Meg on the radiant Sunday, gobbled up "Beautiful Boy" by David Sheff, saw a cool play at the Rep, and had a gorgeous dinner with gorgeous people in a gorgeous house on Mercer Island on Sunday night. Until the gorgeous dinner pictures are uploaded, here's a pretty one of Greenlake for #4's illustration:


There are other ways to be productive in life, perhaps?

5.) I bought PERFUME this weekend! This has been a goal for some time now: to find a "signature scent." Alright boys, roll your eyes, but regardless: it has seemed like an important step into LADY-HOOD to find a pretty perfume to wear. Annie knows: I've sighed and bemoaned my scentless-existence for a while now. And now I am 25, and so the need has seemed more imminent, and I had birthday money, and I FOUND some this weekend! In fact, I found two:

This one is super girly:


And this one smells like limes and summer:


When I wear them, I feel like such a lady. I imagine I LOOK like one too, sniffling and snuffling at my wrists all the time.

6.) I WAS productive today! Wonderfully productive in fact, I got a HUGE job application done. This feat was met this evening, however, by news reports that the state of Washington is slashing the budget for schools and that thousands of teachers will be losing their jobs. How does that bode for a new teacher with no prior experience?

Badly, my friends. Quite badly indeed.


However, I am inexplicably not freaking out. I have every reason to be FREAKING OUT, but I just sort of keep coming back to this feeling that God will take care of me, and that God really DOES want me to be a teacher. Whether that means subbing for a year or more until I get hired, whether that means moving to Nashville, whether that means moving to podunk-town, WA-- I believe that He wants me to be a teacher, and that He'll work it out.

That's just a nice feeling.

I believe that is the end of my Monday pile of blog. Hope you all now feel inspired to toss your hair, or to viva your vida, or to smell nice, or to go for a sunshiney walk, or to feel at peace with wherever this madly spinning world is taking you.

The Good Things

Last night, I had two dinners. The first was steak, baked potato, and corn with Grandpa. I'd remembered earlier in the day that I'd had dinner plans, but when I mentioned that to Gramps, he looked at me and said, "Well. I've already gotten out the steaks." I didn't have the heart to NOT eat dinner with Gramps-- especially the night before he was leaving for a big trip, so I ate First Dinner and we chatted.

And then I went to Keith's for Second Dinner, which happened to be Breakfast. Cam rolled in shortly after, and Cam gave me one of the best, longest hugs: Cameron gives GREAT hugs. Shay, Keith's 90 lb. Bull Mastiff, made her presence known first in Keith's arms, then on Cameron's chest, then under all our respective hands. Mary blew in: glamorous, cloaked, blonde, with offerings of turkey breakfast meats. Matt was next with two freshly baked coffee cakes: one which had been done just right, the other which had alarmingly domed up about 4" above the pan. Then my old friend Aaron and his new girlfriend Katherine arrived, who I've been dying to meet. Their contribution: a magnificent quiche, pulled out of a pizza box carrier, like a rabbit from a hat. Last was Mark, fresh off the mountain with stories of the day's skiing exploits, and with two giant bottles of alcohol for Blood Marys.

We nibbled and drank and chopped and mixed and prepared; Keith cracked 24 eggs, and at least two of them were split PERFECTLY down the middle. Mary made gut-buster pancakes, the biggest of which had cooled into a yarmulke-shaped dome. I put it on my head, and then stuck the rose in my hair on top of the pancake. Following the others' instructions, I sat down on the floor to tempt Shay, and she downed the garnish as well as the dish: gobbling up the rose and pancake off my head while I yelped and shrieked and laughed.

We listened to Ryan Adams, and the Kings of Leon, and the Cold War Kids, and Tom Petty, and so many others. Katherine and I bonded over protesting the stories that Aaron had told us about one another. ("You told her the motorcycle guy story?? Why would you tell her that?! I can't even believe I told YOU that!") When I heard David After Dentist roaring bloody murder from Keith's room, we all crowded in there and watched the poor kid reel ("Will this be FOREVER?"), and then watched the Japanese Sauna Prank, and then watched Ellen call Gladys. It's so much funnier watching those videos with a group of people-- we were rolling!

Played a game that involved yelling and guessing and hilarity and fierce competition. Katherine-- who had started the night out relatively quietly-- led the competitive trash talking. I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard-- I was holding my stomach, we were RIDICULOUS.

Then we somehow we segued into a talk about theology, which was intellectual, and interesting, and controversial, and impassioned, and at last, rhapsodic. The froth of the earlier silliness buoyed us into a place of greater depth where we then all knit ourselves together in deep conversation and questions.

And finally, at 1AM, I went home. Still giggling; still warmed and enriched by the conversation about God; still full from my two dinners. And so THANKFUL for a night and for friendships like those.

This morning, I dropped Grandpa off at the airport: he's off to take a train across Canada with one of his old college buddies. I hugged him goodbye and he grinned, and he looked so darling with his backpack on and his rolly-suitcase. And I drove home as the Seattle fog lifted, and Rainier emerged, and then the Cascades, and the Olympics, and I thought of how much I love this city. And I thought of my students, and how they've shown me such a more enriched picture of Seattle, and I loved them. And I listened to "Sunday Brunch" on the Mountain radio station, and they played acoustic, folksy songs that I love, and one of them reminded me of someone from the past, and I thought of him, and I hoped for GOOD THINGS for him. I thought of God, and the way I'd discovered Him last night, and I felt warm, and happy.

I felt SO HAPPY.

And that is really just the point of this post: life is GOOD right now. Grad school is easier this quarter, and my students are some of the best people to SEE every day, and I have friends that make me LAUGH, and that make me think, and that care about the world... I'm seeing Annie in only a FEW DAYS, and Grandpa is darling, and God is BIG around my heart, and I just feel HAPPY.

I just feel really HAPPY!