Infomercial, Shminformercial

This is my new favorite toy:

It's called "The Great Lengths Cardi," and I found it at Anthropologie. You can get it here. I bought with an Anthro gift card that I got for Christmas. HAPPY DAY.

Look at all the things you can DOOOOO with it!

This is it just open. Normal.

Which, in my mind, looks very artistic. Also TEACHERY.

This is how I wore it on New Year's Eve, over a tunic dress thing. You tie the long lapel things together, and it becomes shrug-a-licious.


OR, I discovered this one tonight: you throw one lapel thing OVER the shoulder, and suddenly things are fabulous and DRAMATIC.


Alternately, you can wrap the lapel thingys around your waist, and tie them behind you...

And look! Wrap-shirt thing!

You can pop the collar if you're in a frat boy kind of mood.


Also, you can throw one lapel across your body and over one shoulder...

And wrap the OTHER lapel across your waist and down at a diagonal...

And see?? That's sort of fancy.

And plus! Since the back is tailored, even when the lapels are open, it still shows your shape.

Okay, well the lapels AREN'T open in that picture. But if they were, you would still be able to see the waist.

So I am just liking it a lot. And I thought I would share the good news with all interested ladies, or all gentlemen interested in getting presents for ladies.

And that is my blog for today.

Regarding Wardrobe

Forgive the return to the blatantly shallow, but I can't help it. Maybe it's from being newly exposed to the influence of hundreds of teenage girls, but lately, the first thought I have when waking up is: "Whaddam'I gonna weeaaaar?"

I enjoy clothes. I really do enjoy the process of picking out things to cover the general chassis, and it usually starts with how I want to feel on a given day. One of my friends down in Malibu told me once, "Greta, every day for you is like playing dress up!" and it's true. Some days I feel like being a flower-child bohemian hippy. Some days I feel like being edgy and vintage and hipster. Some days I want to be extra feminine. Some days I want to look grown up and classy. Some days I want to be mysterious. Some days I want to feel whimsical. Some days I want to turn heads.

When I decide on a Me, it easily narrows down to a general description:
Bohemian: Loose skirt, flip-flops, long necklace, big earrings, tank top.
Edgy: Skinny jeans, red cowboy boots, bronze velvet blazer, favorite hat.
Feminine: Anthropologie anything, pretty jewels, lipstick. Curly hair.

Etc.

The problem is, my new internship-profession has only one wardrobe description and its the one that I have always been least likely to choose out of the air for myself: professional. And, not only professional, but modest. And not just normal-modest, because I feel like I do a decent job of generally keeping it classy: we're talking modesty to the point that the high-school boys don't let their minds go a-wandering (and unfortunately, the boys have already indicated they might). Which means REALLY, REALLY modest.

Not whimsical, not edgy, and certainly not "hot": but professional.

(And: booooooring.)

And: it means slacks.

AND: it means tall heels to go with overly long slacks.

UNLESS: it means hemmed slacks.

BUT: I have not yet hemmed any of my overly long slacks.

BECAUSE: It takes a long time and involves ironing, sewing, and patience.

THUS: It involves painful feet at the end of the day because of heels because of overly long slacks because of difficulties of hemming.

All this results in me waking up, taking a dismal look at the boring grown-up blouses and slacks, considering which of my grown-up heels will be the least cruel-soled by 3:00pm, and then reluctantly putting on some subdued combination... After taking a longing look at my fun flouncy dresses, and comfortable jeans, and sassy cowboy boots.

This week is even harder because it's supposed to be hot. I don't have back-to-school-clothes for 90 degrees-- hello?? I have clothes for Pumpkin Spice Latte weather! Looking in my closet: what do I have for hot weather? I have sun dresses. (Too short. Too strapless. Too v-necked.) I have capris. (Too casual. Too young-looking.) I have tank tops. (Too much skin. Too tight.) I have flip flops. (Too unprofessional.) Do you see??? It is the most difficult thing. I always come back to the slacks. And then I sigh, because my favorite ones are still too long, even for the most mercilessly high heels, and it's my own fault because I COULD hem them, I just don't want to get around to it, and so I end up wearing the boring ones, and also heels which make me grouchy and sore-footed.

This last weekend, I was thrilled not just to sleep in, but to get to wear WHATEVER THE HECK I WANTED. I'm telling myself that I'll accumulate a fun, sassy, artsy, professional wardrobe in time, but it does take time to accumulate. Maybe it will complete itself around the same time that I master those classroom management skills.

Until then? Sigh.....

It's the wide-legged Chinos.